Tag Archives: life

Jan 19

I am a writer

Or I guess I used to be a writer. It was who I was. I’d stay up all night creating and covering my walls in pictures, paintings, and words. So many poems, and short stories. I was an aspiring journalist, I dreamed of writing books people loved and typed on forums before people even read them. I’d create characters or go places in my writing that people my age, with my limited experiences, shouldn’t have been able to go. There was honesty in my writing. I remember I won this poetry contest when I was 8. It was a super short poem, with some line about how “we come into this world with hopes and fears…” I don’t remember the rest. It won because it had truth in it. I never had to search for the realness in words – they were just there like some plentiful bounty I could tap into when insomnia struck, or I was lost, or tired, or hurt. Or when I was happy, celebrating, or thankful.

It was always there as a way to breathe and believe.

I mentioned to my sister the other day, “I used to write all the time but lost it, I just can’t write anymore.” Without skipping a beat she dismissed my silliness. “You can write, you just need to do it.”

I mean I haven’t. I just haven’t sat down and written…in a long time. Somewhere I lost it. Maybe in the chaos of my last seven startups or in the cracks of broken hearts, I stopped writing. Perhaps it was lost among the celebration of job promotions or in the boxes from cross country moves, but I stopped writing. Maybe it faded with old friendships, or it was buried with the lost loved ones I’ve mourned, there have been many. It could have been lost in the blur of travel or in the busyness of living a life so full. Or perhaps the most likely answer is the answer- I just stopped. Stopped writing, by choice or laziness or naivety. I just stopped. Like it was a dismissable behavior – something I didn’t need. But you need to breathe. And you need to believe.

truth #1 for me is: I am a writer. I write things. Some people like the things I write, others don’t and a handful of people deeply connect with the way I string my words together. And in honor of those few, or perhaps as a thank you, it’s worth reminding myself…I am a writer.

As sister reminded me – I just need to do it.

Things currently under consideration for further word stringing include: how crazy it is to live in NYC (no really this place is just whoa), how to build a brand, a long list of things I love, a letter to my mom, a letter to my dad, a bucket list (I’m finally doing it, fuck it), the slippery slide between compromise and sacrifice, how to find your rose colored glasses (a current quest), the power of meditation and pause, and the importance of remembering your truths.

[T1] : I am a writer.

May 13

Life Bitch Slap #6: “Be Thankful”

It’s been a crazy two months as I finish up my tenure at SEOmoz. I’ve met with dozens of entrepreneurs and had more coffee meetings than I thought humanly possible in that amount of time. I’ve talked about big ideas, following dreams, and getting after it. I’ve been inspired to say the least.

During all of that I’ve watched as my team at SEOmoz nears the big launch we have been working on for a year. It will be, in many ways, a new beginning for our awesome company, and I’ve been lucky to see it through. I’ve been fortunate to see all those hours come to fruition, and truly couldn’t be prouder of what is about to go live. The team has worked so hard, and we’ve built something pretty special. I’ve been honored to work with that team to say the least.

I’ve also spent the last two months asking myself what I really want, and perhaps more importantly what I don’t want from the next move. I’ve weighed a lot of opinions from very smart people. I feel like I learned more about myself in the last two months, while asking myself hard questions like who do I want to work for and around? What industry excites me? What do I want my day to day to look like? How big or small a team do I want to join? It’s been enlightening to say the least.

The best part is through all of this I was some what of a hot mess. Okay, okay…quite the hot mess. I was here and there and all over the place. I would wake up in the middle of the night and wonder if this leap was a crazy one, I’d roll into weekends tired and weighing all the offers and options. Settled was not a word I can say I felt the past two months. Somehow I managed to turn these amazing opportunities into something to stress over rather than something to embrace and be thankful for. 

What the whattttt.

I was lucky enough to grab coffee with Andy Sack, a local entrepreneur and VC, and he brought up this idea of “serendipitous clarity” and how if you just open yourself up to it, it will find its way to you. Things will make sense. I love this idea. I’m a planner. I’m Type A. I calculate and spreadsheet the hell out of my life. But I am also a dreamer, a creative, a wanderer in many ways.

My moment of serendipitous clarity over the past few weeks came unexpectedly about a week ago. I’m not sure it’s exactly what Andy had in mind, but I certainly think it had the impact he spoke to. A moment that made me go “whoa. yes. be thankful.” Continue reading →