It’s a choice. How big or small do you choose to be in this life. It’s not something that is done to you, or something that someone else decides. It is entirely within your control. Which is why, it is so confusing that many of us consciously chooses to be small.

We do.

The other day I was having this great conversation with a very powerful, and amazing woman. We were talking about leading women. Who are they? What do they do? How do they stand out? The conversation turned to the mistakes we make, as women. The patterns we fall into make us smaller than we are. The conversation turned to non-verbals. I was saying how I watched this fantastic TED talk that talks about how our body language shapes who we are. Watch it. Seriously.

In it, Amy Cuddy talks about how we must make ourselves bigger. We must exaggerate our motions, and passionately express ourselves — even when we are scared to death. It’s a muscle you strengthen, and then eventually one day you wake up and you are…in fact…bigger. Not “I ate four dozen cupcakes bigger” but “I can do this, I can do everything I ever wanted” bigger.

This friend of mine talked about how she can’t stand it when people cover their hands up in meetings with their sleeves. It’s like they are shrinking into a ball and retreating into their sweater, shirt, or coat. All of this talk got me thinking — how much do we do that makes us smaller? Why do we choose to be small?

Then it hit me…because we think we are. Damn it. Bitch slapped. It’s because somewhere along the way we stopped choosing to live larger than life.

I know I’ve felt this way in the past, and in the past few years I have actively worked on strengthening my confidence muscles. How do you do this? It’s a million things. Start by physically standing stronger, bring the weight of your passion into your non-verbals. Stop letting negativity into your life. Literally, stop being around that negative person in your life. I’ve cut out people in my life that made me feel badly about myself.  They make you smaller. Lean on the weight of strong people you know. Absorb their larger than life energy and lean on it until you can stand on your own. Don’t cover up your hands. Don’t sink into your chair. Don’t defer to them always. Stick your neck out. Stick your whole body out until you can’t possibly be ignored.

Whatever is right for you starts with making the choice — stop choosing to be small.

We emulate the energies around us people. How are those energies for you? Are you surrounded by empowered, kind, confident people? I am. It hasn’t always been that way, then again I hadn’t always chosen the road I have now — to live this life largely. I am choosing to live a full, challenging, creative life. You can too. You just need to stop choosing to be small.

It starts there… #comeon #letsgolivelarger